i have searched and in that process some1 made it seem like the hole in the manifold isnt just a hole and the actual valve is in there is this the case?????

There is a hole on the manifold, and a hole on the head. The EGR solenoid is not in the intake manifold. You should see it sitting right in between the engine and battery.

i feel retarded now.. lol why would i allow myself to get confused by that crap