Alright, I am pretty calm right now after a little fight I had with my car. I broke one of my flashlights, kicked my front bumper and lost the extension in order to use many of the sockets that I use. I've been entirely too stressed over the past couple of weeks. I was let go from my job and my alternator went out the same week. I spent $394 because I did not have the necessary tools to do it myself; mainly floor jack and jackstands (couldn't even borrow any). I have no money under my name and have had no luck with finding another job. To top that off, my girlfriend now hates my car; she doesn't even feel safe riding in it anymore. After spending money on more shit that I thought would fix my car, it's still having problems. After replacing CAMSHAFT/CRANKSHAFT position sensors, IAC, relays, coils, wires, plugs, fuel filters, air filters, alternators, starters to name a few of way too many things to go out in less than a year of owning the car; one problem still remains (I do realize the car is 11 years old, but damn). The car is still randomly shutting off! After replacing so many things I've narrowed it down to the ECU, after being ignorant and not thinking so for so long (my other thread about cleaning the camshaft position sensor/magnet, it didn't work out after all).

All that mumbo-jumbo is besides the point really of my post. I don't understand how we keep going on with these cars, maintaining and upgrading them as we do; it's like a drug. I've always looked after this car; repeatedly looking over small details, checking fluid levels and giving her the usual wash & wax once a week. My mother doesn't even touch her POS 99 Grand Am and it's in better condition than my car! I've spent more than $3,000 in replacement parts and I bought the car completely stock w/ rims & tires... I can't even mod the damn thing because something is always breaking before I get there. I drive 60 on the highway and very rarely do I go above 3000RPM. Anyways, I wanted to check out the wires connecting to the ECU connector harness thing that plugs into the ECU to see if any of the wires were possibly arcing, causing the ECU to randomly flash and turn the car off... I don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to electrical aspects, but it sounded like a good idea at the time. My problem is that the bolt that holds the connector in doesn't even come out... it just keeps spinning in place. How should I remove it? I honestly was bent over my engine bay with a socket wrench turning this bolt for 10 minutes and damn, does my back ache.

Also, the recently purchased IAC valve is making a buzzing type noise that can be heard over the lifter tick and goes away when given throttle. It's from Auto Zone and is obviously not OEM; could that just be the problem? Cheap-oh IAC?

I apologize for the long rant and appreciate all the help that has been given to me with the short amount of time I've been on the forums. I search the forums and hate coming across threads like this where n.oobs just whine and moan about their cars not working and have to type a huge essay about it... but atleast I know how to type.