Stupid forum game I saw elsewhere that had me rolling...

Here are the rules:

• Somebody makes a wish.
  
• The next person grants that wish...
  
• but in a way that makes the wish suck, and...
  
• follows it up with their wish.
  

Side note: the idea is to have fun with this, not to come up with an incorruptible wish.

So anyway, to start:

I wish I had a snack.

Granted, but she is feeding it to you:



I wish I was skinny.

Originally posted by teklein
I wish I was skinny.

Here you go!



I wish to be successful in the inevitable zombie apocalypse.

You can survive, but the only way to ensure a 100% survival rate is to become a zombie. And the only way to become a zombie without being bitten is to lobotomize yourself. Enjoy!




I wish I had the power of controlled flight.

Originally posted by Fallen4ng31
I wish I had the power of controlled flight.

Granted. Too bad you can't land.

I wish I could wear my contacts lenses again.

Originally posted by DarkOne

Originally posted by Fallen4ng31 I wish I had the power of controlled flight.

Granted. Too bad you can't land. I wish I could wear my contacts lenses again.

Shazam! However the FDA has found through recent studies that contact solution is directly related to AIDS....and obesity.

I wish ALF was never canceled.

Granted, however, Alf is now voiced by Jeff Goldblum, and he is given creative control over Alf's lines.

I wish donuts where fat free.

Originally posted by Shake_Zulla
I wish donuts were fat free.

They are fat free! In order to do so, the ingredients have been manipulated to maintain taste. Side effects now include random and rapid muscle deterioration.

^^ And wish thread goes dead.

Let me resurrect it.

I wish my eclipse would run perfectly and forever.

Originally posted by djtrickee
^^ And wish thread goes dead. Let me resurrect it. I wish my eclipse would run perfectly and forever.

Granted, however, such a thing is normally impossible, therefore in doing so you create a singluarity thereby destroying the Earth, and possibly the entire universe.

(I'll pick an obvious one) I wish I had infinite monetary resources.

Originally posted by Fallen4ng31

Originally posted by djtrickee ^^ And wish thread goes dead. Let me resurrect it. I wish my eclipse would run perfectly and forever.

Granted, however, such a thing is normally impossible, therefore in doing so you create a singluarity thereby destroying the Earth, and possibly the entire universe. (I'll pick an obvious one) I wish I had infinite monetary resources.

Granted, however, with electric cars and Japan getting destroyed in nuclear fallout there is nothing cool to buy.

I wish Dave was nicer. :D

Granted, but then terrorist win.

I wish it would stop raining.

(sorry I granted myself but I think it's a valid and actual point.)

Originally posted by Shake_Zulla
I wish it would stop raining.

Granted. Forever, and everything dies.

I wish I hadn't eaten so damn much for lunch.

Originally posted by DarkOne

Originally posted by Shake_Zulla I wish it would stop raining.

Granted. Forever, and everything dies. I wish I hadn't eaten so damn much for lunch.

Granted, but the resulting shit from your lunch creates a sinkhole so large it swallows Texas into the bowels of the earth.

I wish I had my youth back but retained my wisdom from being older.

Originally posted by djtrickee
I wish I had my youth back but retained my wisdom from being older.

Granted, however you now have leukemia, juvenile diabetes, and MS as a result of the transformation... You start as an infant and your life expectancy is now 2 years.

I wish I had a flask of whiskey that would never be empty.

Originally posted by Fallen4ng31
I wish I had a flask of whiskey that would never be empty.

Granted - but the lid is welded shut and can't be opened.

I wish this meeting I'm about to go to would fuck off and die.

Originally posted by DarkOne
I wish this meeting I'm about to go to would fuck off and die.

Granted, but because this one meeting was cancelled the entire company collapses and leaves you jobless with no prospects on the horizon.

I wish that I had more time off from work.

Originally posted by RoninEclipse2G

Originally posted by DarkOne I wish this meeting I'm about to go to would fuck off and die.

Granted, but because this one meeting was cancelled the entire company collapses and leaves you jobless with no prospects on the horizon. I wish that I had more time off from work.

Granted, You're fired.

I wish Ronin had more time off from work.

Originally posted by djtrickee
I wish Ronin had more time off from work.

Granted. He loses his job, divorces his wife and moves in with you.You realize you both love each other (like that) so you both move to Alabama as a gay couple, only to be the victim of a hate crime leaving you both dead on the side of the road.

I wish I still had my Eclipse.

Originally posted by Fallen4ng31
. I wish I still had my Eclipse.

Granted. But your eclipse wishes you no longer had it, so it leaves you and moves in with Ronin & I and we get it Alabama plates, and it subsequently drives off a cliff because, lets face it, Alabama...

I wish someone would post pics of Driggs in horrible drunk embarrassing moments...

Originally posted by djtrickee
I wish someone would post pics of Driggs in horrible drunk embarrassing moments...

Granted. However, he is so embarrassed that he hunts you down and puts a .50Cal round through your skull from 500 yards, then kills himself.

I wish I had more time to home brew.

Originally posted by djtrickee
I wish someone would post pics of Driggs in horrible drunk embarrassing moments...

I wish I didn't just discovered they're all on my PC... at work.

(Seriously.)

Granted, you start over as a new born and you mom breast feeds you.

I wish Hockey was more popular than Football.

Dave, I should edit your post just for fucking up the format, lol.

Oh crap, now I fucked it up.........

Originally posted by bullettdsm
Oh crap, now I wish I hadn't fucked it up.........

Granted, but you fucking up everything is nothing out of the norm :P

I wish I was in heaven right now

Originally posted by 420agreenvilleSC

Originally posted by bullettdsm Oh crap, now I wish I hadn't fucked it up.........

Granted, but you fucking up everything is nothing out of the norm :P I wish I was in heaven right now

Granted, but now you are surrounded by Mormons.

I wish I was married to Natalie Portman.

Originally posted by Shake_Zulla
I wish I was married to Natalie Portman.

Granted, but you get the Bat Shit Crazy version from Black Swan.

I wish my lunch break was more than an hour.

Granted. Youre fired.

I wish the plumber hadn't just cost me $650.

Originally posted by DarkOne
Granted. Youre fired. I wish the plumber hadn't just cost me $650.

Granted, you pay the plumber through sexual favors and contract herpes, and AIDS.

I wish I had an OC48...

Originally posted by Fallen4ng31

Originally posted by DarkOne Granted. Youre fired. I wish the plumber hadn't just cost me $650.

Granted, you pay the plumber through sexual favors and contract herpes, and AIDS. I wish I had an OC48...

Granted, your computer still runs slow because of all the downloaded porn.

I wish I could dance.

Originally posted by Shake_Zulla
Granted, your computer still runs slow because of all the downloaded porn. I wish I could dance.

Granted. But the only dance you know is the "Yes Dance" (

YouTube.com

).

I wish every girl was instantly attracted to me.

Originally posted by Shake_Zulla

Originally posted by Fallen4ng31

Originally posted by DarkOne Granted. Youre fired. I wish the plumber hadn't just cost me $650.

Granted, you pay the plumber through sexual favors and contract herpes, and AIDS. I wish I had an OC48...

Granted, your computer still runs slow because of all the downloaded porn. I wish I could dance.

Granted. But your newfound talents in ballet means that you wear tights far too often, hence the blood flow to your johnson becomes impaired and it falls off.

I wish I didn't spend all that time and money on medschool.

Originally posted by ez

Originally posted by Shake_Zulla

Originally posted by Fallen4ng31

Originally posted by DarkOne Granted. Youre fired. I wish the plumber hadn't just cost me $650.

Granted, you pay the plumber through sexual favors and contract herpes, and AIDS. I wish I had an OC48...

Granted, your computer still runs slow because of all the downloaded porn. I wish I could dance.

Granted. But your newfound talents in ballet means that you wear tights far too often, hence the blood flow to your johnson becomes impaired and it falls off. I wish I didn't spend all that time and money on medschool.

Granted, you spend all that time and money on a girl that leaves you for burntheblobs and then she becomes obsessed and murders him to wear his skin like a leotard. Yesssss.

I wish my wife can cook.

Originally posted by Shake_Zulla
I wish my wife can cook.

She can, but what she has learned to cook is homeless cats....and can cover this fact up VERY well. Now your future is riddled with dysentery and rabies.

I wish god really did kill a kitten every time I masturbate.

Originally posted by LD25Delta9

Originally posted by Shake_Zulla I wish my wife can cook.

She can, but what she has learned to cook is homeless cats....and can cover this fact up VERY well. Now your future is riddled with dysentery and rabies. I wish god really did kill a kitten every time I masturbate.

Granted. Cats become extinct within the next 12 months, hence the rat population rises exponentially leading to a recurrence of bubonic plague, leaving you vomiting and urinating blood.

I wish food was free.

Originally posted by ez
I wish food was free.

Granted. You're now black and live in the projects and the only thing you get to eat is "gubament cheez".

I wish my gray hair would return to its original color.

Originally posted by Fallen4ng31
I wish my gray hair would return to its original color. http://www.newcelica.org/photopost/data/500/thread_delivers-yon.jp g

Granted. Your grey hair is now its original color - nonexistent. You're also an aborted embryo in a Planned Parenthood dumpster. Good wish!

I wish this beer would pour faster.

Originally posted by DarkOne
Granted. Your grey hair is now its original color - nonexistent. You're also an aborted embryo in a Planned Parenthood dumpster. Good wish! I wish this beer would pour faster.

You got it, but now everytime you pour a beer, it comes out so fast that it splashes everywhere. You go through beer twice as fast now.

I wish I could be completely healthy/fit while eating anything I wanted.

Originally posted by burntheblobs
You got it, but now everytime you pour a beer, it comes out so fast that it splashes everywhere. You go through beer twice as fast now. I wish I could be completely healthy/fit while eating anything I wanted.

Viola! For your greedy request, however, Richard Simmons kidnaps you and forces you to eat everything you don't want causing a similar scenario to that of the first victim in the movie Seven.

I wish Jason Vorhees was my kids' personal bodyguard.

Originally posted by burntheblobs I wish Jason Vorhees was my kids' personal bodyguard.

Granted, however, tommy jarvis comes and sticks a axe in both of they're heads.

- I wish weed was legalized and everyone was forced to smoke it, causing world peace! :D

Originally posted by TurbchargdSpydr
I wish weed was legalized and everyone was forced to smoke it, causing world peace! :D

Granted, everyone gets baked constantly, no one goes to work, the economy grinds to a halt, governments fall apart, and everyone dies as a result of eating too many cheetos.

I wish I had another pack of smokes... :|

Originally posted by Fallen4ng31
I wish I had another pack of smokes... :|

Granted but the first cigarette turns out to be defectively filled with Arsenic and you die a horrible death.

I wish I was me.

Originally posted by bullettdsm
Granted but the first cigarette turns out to be defectively filled with Arsenic and you die a horrible death. I wish I was me.

Granted. Nobody likes you, as usual.

I wish I could jump behind the wheel of any car and drive it with the skill of a seasoned racer.

Originally posted by burntheblobs
I wish I could jump behind the wheel of any car and drive it with the skill of a seasoned racer.

Granted, However, you have no body from the waist down making you useless both as a driver, and... well you can infer the rest. :P

I wish I was more tolerant of my userbase.

Originally posted by Fallen4ng31
I wish I was more tolerant of my userbase.

Granted. However, they mistake your tolerance for weakness and overthrow you, starting the beginning of WWIII.

I wish I wasn't addicted to porn.

Originally posted by LD25Delta9
I wish I wasn't addicted to porn.

Granted, now you have a $50k a year cocaine habit. Have fun sucking dick for coke!

I wish my fingers weren't crusted with super glue.

Originally posted by RoninEclipse2G

Originally posted by LD25Delta9 I wish I wasn't addicted to porn.

Granted, now you have a $50k a year cocaine habit. Have fun sucking dick for coke! I wish my fingers weren't crusted with super glue.

Granted, but now the model of the human reproductive organs you were building is, instead, stuck to your shoulder.

I wish I didn't get an email for *every* reply to this thread. :p

Originally posted by DR1665
I wish I didn't get an email for *every* reply to this thread. :p

Granted, You find the unsubscribe button and no longer recieve emails for this thread again. Unfortunately the forum glitches and you now recieve emails for every other reply on the forum. Forever.

I wish I didn't need to buy ANOTHER energy drink to stay awake.

Originally posted by RoninEclipse2G

Originally posted by DR1665 I wish I didn't get an email for *every* reply to this thread. :p

Granted, You find the unsubscribe button and no longer recieve emails for this thread again. Unfortunately the forum glitches and you now recieve emails for every other reply on the forum. Forever. I wish I didn't need to buy ANOTHER energy drink to stay awake.

Granted, but now you're wide awake and piss yourself laughing when the Grim Cupid of Spiritual Death who runs this place decides to implement your perverse idea, resulting in my Gmail account being the first ever to run out of space.

I wish I didn't have to kill Ronin...


Pro bono: Consider switching to the Rockstar in the blue can.

Originally posted by DR1665
I wish I didn't have to kill Ronin... Pro bono: Consider switching to the Rockstar in the blue can.

Granted but by not killing Ronin, he kills you!

I wish I didn't have class in 20 minutes!

Originally posted by TurbchargdSpydr
Granted but by not killing Ronin, he kills you! I wish I didn't have class in 20 minutes!

Granted, but instead you're kicked out of school for masterminding a scabies outbreak on a massive scale with prolonged genital to genital contact in the mens room as a distribution method.


I wish my eclipse hadn't rusted out.

Originally posted by hazardeclipse

Originally posted by TurbchargdSpydr Granted but by not killing Ronin, he kills you! I wish I didn't have class in 20 minutes!

Granted, but instead you're kicked out of school for masterminding a scabies outbreak on a massive scale with prolonged genital to genital contact in the mens room as a distribution method. I wish my eclipse hadn't rusted out.

Granted. It caught on fire and melted.

I wish I hadn't eaten so much queso for dinner. *grunt*

Originally posted by DarkOne
I wish I hadn't eaten so much queso for dinner. *grunt*

Granted. I had beer for dinner, which made my wife hate me, divorce me, and take my son away. Then I kill myself.

I wish I hadn't killed this thread.

Granted, but now an Uber troll such as myself will come and wreck everything you have worked for!

I wish I could get rich off masturbating.

Originally posted by Fotowntalon
I wish I could get rich off masturbating.

Granted. You've generated such a callous from whackin' it that regular sex with an actual woman does nothing for you and you die old, dry and alone.

Also, lesbians the world over are now the fathers of your children.

I wish there were an instant cure for the common hangover.

Originally posted by DarkOne
I wish there were an instant cure for the common hangover.

Granted! However the cure is made from pieces of your brain. You are in a permanent comatose for them to slowly extract particles of your brain for the cure, while everyone else enjoys constant hangover free drunkenism with many 18 year old big breasted blondes making very ill advised decisions with the amount of men they sleep with.

I wish I was not 1 beer away from my fridge being empty...

Granted. Your fridge is empty.

I wish we finally had some sunshine in Michigan.

Granted...but now all the skanks in Detroit flaunt their muffin tops.


I wish I did enjoy watching the "yes dance".

Granted, in fact you enjoy it so much that you become addicted to watching it and never leave your computer. Your blood shot eyes are so glued to the PC, your mind so transfixed on the video, that you stop eating and drinking, and die an slow and agonizing death to a combination of starvation and dehydration.

I wish I was Rebecca Black

Originally posted by Fotowntalon
I wish I was Rebecca Black

Granted. You now make a new youtube video for Monday!

Originally posted by iamnotwhoiam

Originally posted by Fotowntalon
I wish I was Rebecca Black

Granted. You now make a new youtube video for Monday!

Granted? But now it's Friday and the tabloids run the story of you being found face down in a ditch with a broomstick up your ass on page six (after all the Royal Wedding coverage).

I wish you'd stuck to the rules.

Originally posted by DR1665

Originally posted by iamnotwhoiam

Originally posted by Fotowntalon I wish I was Rebecca Black

Granted. You now make a new youtube video for Monday!

Granted? But now it's Friday and the tabloids run the story of you being found face down in a ditch with a broomstick up your ass on page six (after all the Royal Wedding coverage). I wish you'd stuck to the rules.

Well crud.. I guess I forgot to make a wish.

Granted. I follow the rules so well I become moderator and ban everyone. I invite all the 4g63'rs to join 2gnt and force everyone still left to do a turbo swap and then dump the remaining 420a's in the ocean.

I wish i had found azdave's Talon before he did.

Originally posted by iamnotwhoiam
I wish i had found azdave's Talon before he did.

Granted. You did and you bought it, but it crankwalked two weeks later because you're a heretic.

I wish i was buttfucking Marilyn Monroe right now.

Originally posted by DarkOne

Originally posted by iamnotwhoiam I wish i had found azdave's Talon before he did.

Granted. You did and you bought it, but it crankwalked two weeks later because you're a heretic. I wish i was buttfucking Marilyn Monroe right now.

Granted. But she's a corpse and you are dumb zombie that doesn't get to enjoy any feeling.

I wish I had a job now and one that paid me 100k a month!

Originally posted by iamnotwhoiam
I wish I had a job now and one that paid me 100k a month!

Granted, but the cops catch on to your ponzi scheme very quickly. Enjoy your very long stay with your new roomate, Mr.Madoff.

I wish I wasn't working on my birthday.

Originally posted by RoninEclipse2G
Granted, but the cops catch on to your ponzi scheme very quickly. Enjoy your very long stay with your new roomate, Mr.Madoff.

I wish I wasn't working on my birthday.

Granted, but you're not working on the day after, or the day after that, and so on, and so forth, either. Welcome to the New American Dream.

I wish Dino was coming to Hammars.

Originally posted by Shake_Zulla

Originally posted by 420agreenvilleSC

Originally posted by bullettdsm Oh crap, now I wish I hadn't fucked it up.........

Granted, but you fucking up everything is nothing out of the norm :P I wish I was in heaven right now

Granted, but now you are surrounded by Mormons. I wish I was married to Natalie Portman.

I see this as a good thing ;-)