How To Shower Like a Woman:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with
real passion fruit.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes
until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower and stand on bathmat.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man:
Take off clothes while sitting on the
edge of the bed and leave
them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the
woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.
Get in the shower Wash your
face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.
Dry off forearms and butt
only.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of
tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly
off.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the
woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.


If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind
this, there is something so very wrong with you.

I think that's the first thing Al Gore installed on the internet when he invented it back in the 90's. :P

Still funny though. :thumbsup

lmao i am in class and almost got in trouble for laughing lol...

most of those are true. like farting and laughing, peeing, and blwoing your nose....hahaha

That was funny and true. I do that a lot, but instead of saying woo-woo, I say woooooooo look at meeeeeeeeeeeeee, I'm nekkeeeeddddd.

hahahaha that's great

I like to shave the pubies as well in the shower, and clog up the drainage... bwahaha!! }(

Originally posted by saikou
I like to shave the pubies as well in the shower, and clog up the drainage... bwahaha!! }(

i think i just vomited a little

Originally posted by SILVERNT

Originally posted by saikou I like to shave the pubies as well in the shower, and clog up the drainage... bwahaha!! }(

i think i just vomited a little

:shrug

:P

haha nice.

Hadn't seen that before. Laughed my ass off though!

Couple things: I typically am the one to get my clothes in the dirty clothes basket, Jenni's the one to leave her clothes scattered all over the room! Usually her socks are left out in the living room near the couch, now our daughter is following her example.
Everything else about that post is so very true though.

Originally posted by DSMxTSi
I typically am the one to get my clothes in the dirty clothes basket

Not true. I trip over your damn pile of underwear when getting into the shower every morning.

Originally posted by DSMxTSi
Jenni's the one to leave her clothes scattered all over the room!

If you would do laundry more often, the basket wouldn't overflow and I would actually be able to put my clothes IN the hamper. :)