Just read this and found it quite funny and if its a repost well then its still funny reposted shit.

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........ Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive -but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason what-so-ever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Very old repost, but it's still kinda funny.

one day chuck norris decided to bottle his own piss. we now call it redbull.

later

Chuck Norris' Mom was so fat that when she bungee jumped she went straight to hell.

Originally posted by MiztahfooLish
Chuck Norris' Mom was so fat that when she bungee jumped she went straight to hell.

ok...you obviously haven't been on the chuck norris bandwagon...here's an idea:

http://newsblaze.com/story/20070130145509tsop.nb/topstory.html

later

Originally posted by shuwa29

Originally posted by MiztahfooLish Chuck Norris' Mom was so fat that when she bungee jumped she went straight to hell.

ok...you obviously haven't been on the chuck norris bandwagon...here's an idea: http://newsblaze.com/story/20070130145509tsop.nb/topstory.html later

Dude, where is your sense of humor? You took offense on me making fun of Chuck Norris' Mom just like his humorous quotes? Chill out Airman.

Originally posted by MiztahfooLish

Originally posted by shuwa29

Originally posted by MiztahfooLish Chuck Norris' Mom was so fat that when she bungee jumped she went straight to hell.

ok...you obviously haven't been on the chuck norris bandwagon...here's an idea: http://newsblaze.com/story/20070130145509tsop.nb/topstory.html later

Dude, where is your sense of humor? You took offense on me making fun of Chuck Norris' Mom just like his humorous quotes? Chill out Airman.

Chuck Norris is a god. There is no making fun. Chuck Norris is now hunting you down will roundhouse kick you from your own compupter. Take offense, no i didn't. Just opening you up to the true side of Chuck Norris. And yes i'm an Airman. And i'm proud of it!

later

If Jack Bauer was gay his name would be Chuck Norris.

Originally posted by micyek
If Jack Bauer was gay his name would be Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was origionally casted as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

lol, you BANME!s. The chuck norris craze reached a climax like 9 months ago. Get with the program. ;)



http://talontimes.blogspot.com


99GS
95TSI

Originally posted by kain_99gs
lol, you BANME!s. The chuck norris craze reached a climax like 9 months ago. Get with the program. ;)

9 months? i thought i was a couple years ago.

Chuck Norris is gay because Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Crop circles happen because Chuck Norris thinks sometimes corn needs to lay the fuck down. (My favorite.)

I just caught www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzhfkJHq7SY for the first time last night. Hillarious.

Originally posted by DR1665
I just caught www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzhfkJHq7SY for the first time last night. Hillarious.

Never seen it till now. I spewed Mountain Dew. (ysrlly)

Bwahaha... haven't seen that one.
Does Chuck Norris age at all?

Originally posted by saikou
Bwahaha... haven't seen that one. Does Chuck Norris age at all?

No, Father Time is Chuck Norris' bitch.

Wow, chuck norris jokes are so old.

That shit isn't even funny. It's just some kinda Apple jackoff. How about this:

If your car was made by Apple it would cost twice as much, and have a GM 4-cyl under the hood just like every other car.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

Originally posted by Weezle745
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

WTF? ok, THAT was lame.