first off

I LOVE GOOOOOOLD!!!!!

second, i was masturbating with a soda can, and the can slit my penis, therefore causing heavy bleeding, i needed to go to the hospital and now i have my friends sweatshirt wrapped around my cock in order to stop bleeding!!!!

third, i got a huge buffon stuck up my ass, can NE one pull it out

fourth, batistuta is THE BEST soccoer player on earth of all time.
BATIGOL!!!!!

fifth..........
sry gtg teabag session