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There's a timing belt FAQ already.
It's here: http://www.2gnt.com/index.php?d=Timing_Belt_Replacement
And here: http://az2gnt.net/FSM/2gnt_420a_overhaul.pdf
Or here: http://www.2gnt.com/index.php?d=PROPER%20TIMING%20MARK%20ALIGNMENT
Even here: http://www.2gnt.com/index.php?d=A%20Proper%20Rebuild
They're all better than mine.
But nobody can look away from their Twitters and HDTVs long enough to actually read anymore, so I made one with shiney pictures. 
You care because
1) Your car has gone 60k-100k since its last timing belt change.
2) Your car has a blown headgasket.
3) You have sparkly tooner cam gears and think you're qualified to adjust timing.
4) Your car just exploded because you didn't notice #1, #2, or that you were wrong on #3.
If you have questions, post below, but do not fucking quote this entire first post because everyone will hate you.
There's 8 screws. They're all rusted solid.
Soak in WD40/liquidwrench.
Loosen hinge under the car
Loosen tensioner from above.
Use a jack. OEM is fine.
Let it hang from the mount.
This tool can be rented for cheap at any parts store.
Use OEM bolt to get it started.
Only go 1/4" or so, don't fully unbolt yet, only loosen it 5-10 turns.
Once the pulley moves 1/4 inch, you can remove the puller, and remove the oem bolt.
Go find something like these.
DO NOT USE a 3/8" ratchet extension, it will get welded into your crank forever.
Use whatever you found to fully remove the pulley.
Take a break.
This is your new mortal enemy
Bottom one first.
Front one. Unbolt all the hard lines in the area.
Be GENTLE with your lines and pull it under.
This one sucks.
If you're lucky you don't need the next step.
You aren't lucky.
Just fucking drill it.
Find a grenade pin. Shove it in.
It bends easily too, don't use a flimsy pin.
This is the quick and sloppy way... but fine for now.
Tie your cam gears tightly together if you're removing them for some reason.
I use braided stainless aircraft cable.
Replace broken shit now.
Satan says replace the timing belt, water pump, both timing pulleys, and the tensioner.
Optional: Oilpump, front main seal, cam seals, idler bracket, or headgasket.
Take a break. Worry about whether to go order more parts.
You will be doing this next step for the next hour or two.
Reapply tension. Use a ONLY a NEW belt.
Use pry bar to set tension correctly, then quickly bolt down.
Grenade pin should slide effortlessly. Leave it in for now.
Grab a straightedge. I'm using a license plate.
You may have to turn the crank clockwise a few times to get tension to settle.
If it's not flawless, you did it wrong.
Try setting the crank a tooth or two back so when you reapply tension it gets pulled into alignment.
Repeat
Repeat
Repeat
...
Repeat
When you're done the cams and crank will be EXACTLY lined up.
Not kinda. Not "within a half tooth or so", but EXACTLY.
The blue line is the sloppy eyeball way of checking crank timing marks.
The red lines show that the top of the spline on the sprocket aligns with the oilpump mark. Just do it the red way for ease and precision.
Pull the grenade pin and double check that the marks stay aligned after several revolutions of the crank.
That's it. Put things back together.
If it idles funny you did it wrong. Sue me.
This writeup and all images are copyrighted and may not be published or reprinted anywhere else for any reason.
Again, go ahead and post questions, but DON'T QUOTE the whole writeup.
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