sand the hell out of the shift rod from the engine bay with some really fine grit sandpaper. i had a hell of a time trying to drop my valve body because there was a liiiittle bit of dirt on that rod, and was getting hung up. as for disconnecting the stuff from the rod, there is just one or 2 bolts you need to undo that are connected to that rod, that hold the shift linkage to it.

there should be 1 or 2 electronic connectors that you disconnect from the tranny in the engine bay as well.